{"id":2667,"date":"2024-04-05T10:54:39","date_gmt":"2024-04-05T10:54:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vztahy.net\/?p=2667"},"modified":"2026-02-16T14:33:15","modified_gmt":"2026-02-16T14:33:15","slug":"neuzavreny-pribeh-pricina-kvuli-ktere-se-byvali-vzdy-vraci-je-to-tak-ve-skutecnosti","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vztahy.net\/?p=2667","title":{"rendered":"Neuzav\u0159en\u00fd p\u0159\u00edb\u011bh. P\u0159\u00ed\u010dina kv\u016fli kter\u00e9 se b\u00fdval\u00ed v\u017edy vrac\u00ed. Je to tak ve skute\u010dnosti?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Neuzav\u0159en\u00fd p\u0159\u00edb\u011bh. P\u0159\u00ed\u010dina kv\u016fli kter\u00e9 se b\u00fdval\u00ed v\u017edy vrac\u00ed. Je to tak ve skute\u010dnosti?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\nYou must be logged in to view this content.\n\n\n\n

Velmi \u010dasto je mo\u017en\u00e9 usly\u0161et n\u00e1zor, \u017ee \u010dlov\u011bk, kter\u00fd odch\u00e1z\u00ed ze vztahu m\u00e1 \u201eneuzav\u0159en\u00fd p\u0159\u00edb\u011bh\u201c a proto se bude pokou\u0161et vr\u00e1tit se do vztahu po n\u011bjak\u00e9m \u010dase.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pro rozbor t\u00e9to situace za\u010dn\u011bme z toho, co se skute\u010dn\u011b d\u011bje po rozchodu \u2013 z neuzav\u0159en\u00e9ho p\u0159\u00edb\u011bhu opu\u0161t\u011bn\u00e9ho \u010dlov\u011bka. Cht\u011bl vztah a ve v\u00fdsledku nez\u00edskal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nej\u010dast\u011bj\u0161\u00ed p\u0159\u00ed\u010dina, kdy se m\u016f\u017eete zaseknout v neuzav\u0159en\u00e9m p\u0159\u00edb\u011bhu \u2013 to je chamtivost \u010dlov\u011bka. Sama neukon\u010denost neroste okam\u017eit\u011b po skon\u010den\u00ed vztahu a ty m\u016f\u017ee\u0161 jeho r\u016fst pozorovat i v r\u00e1mci vztahu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nap\u0159\u00edklad ty chce\u0161 vid\u011bt d\u00edvku jako svoj\u00ed \u017eenu, man\u017eelku a ona zjevn\u011b dr\u017e\u00ed svoj\u00ed pozici a hranice na kter\u00fdch je n\u011bco takov\u00e9ho: \u201eAno Ji\u0159\u00ed\u010dku, my se potk\u00e1v\u00e1me, ale nezlob se chci b\u00fdt nez\u00e1visl\u00e1 v na\u0161em vztahu.\u201c<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ty chce\u0161 pln\u00e9ho splynut\u00ed, ale vid\u00ed\u0161, \u017ee d\u00edvka si to nep\u0159eje. Zkou\u0161\u00ed\u0161 j\u00ed r\u016fzn\u00fdmi zp\u016fsoby k tomu nav\u00e9st: dob\u0159e se chov\u00e1\u0161, d\u00e1v\u00e1\u0161 d\u00e1rky, zkou\u0161\u00ed\u0161 manipulovat, provokuje\u0161 na \u017e\u00e1rlivost, mluv\u00ed\u0161 o sv\u00fdch v\u00e1\u017en\u00fdch z\u00e1m\u011brech atd. A \u017eensk\u00e1 ne-ne.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A jestli\u017ee ch\u00e1pe\u0161 mno\u017estv\u00ed krok\u016f, kter\u00e9 jsi ji\u017e ud\u011blal ve stranu t\u00e9to \u017eeny a zav\u00e1z\u00e1n\u00ed vztahu s n\u00ed, pak se m\u016f\u017ee\u0161 zastavit a prost\u011b odm\u00edtnout tuto my\u0161lenku. Man\u017eelstv\u00ed s takovou d\u00e1mou a obr\u00e1zky, kter\u00e9 vznikaj\u00ed ve tv\u00e9 hlav\u011b \u2013 to je ten sam\u00fd neuzav\u0159en\u00fd p\u0159\u00edb\u011bh (ucelen\u00fd obraz) \u2013 ty vid\u00ed\u0161 sebe s d\u00edvkou jedn\u00edm celkem a mozek je u v\u00e1s jeden na dva, jste si podobn\u00ed a je to zaj\u00edmav\u00e9 pro v\u00e1s oba.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A p\u0159esn\u011b kv\u016fli tomu je pot\u0159eba se nau\u010dit rozd\u011blovat hranice. To ochra\u0148uje od takov\u00fdch podobn\u00fdch \u201eneuzav\u0159en\u00fdch p\u0159\u00edb\u011bh\u016f\u201c, proto\u017ee m\u016f\u017ee\u0161 pochopit d\u00edky prav\u00e9 hemisf\u00e9\u0159e, \u017ee sle\u010dna nen\u00ed tvoje a \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e9 svatby nebude a bylo by dobr\u00e9 takov\u00fd n\u00e1pad prost\u011b utilizovat. Nicm\u00e9n\u011b lev\u00e1 hemisf\u00e9ra klade odpor.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Abys pochopil cel\u00fd syst\u00e9m, pak je d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9 ch\u00e1pat, co t\u011b nut\u00ed poslouchat s ka\u017ed\u00e9 poloviny hemisf\u00e9ry. Prav\u00e1 \u2013 to je st\u0159\u00edzliv\u00e1 \u00favaha a objektivn\u00ed realita a lev\u00e1 \u2013 to jsou iluze a tvoje chamtivost. Samoz\u0159ejm\u011b v\u0161e to je v podm\u00edn\u011bn\u00e9m smyslu slova.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V maxim\u00e1ln\u00ed v\u011bt\u0161in\u011b p\u0159\u00edpad\u016f \u010dlov\u011bk ani nep\u0159em\u00fd\u0161l\u00ed o tom, \u017ee by sv\u016fj p\u0159\u00edb\u011bh uzav\u0159el. V\u017edy\u0165 se tak chce \u017e\u00edt t\u00edm \u201eucelen\u00fdm obrazem\u201c kde spolu okop\u00e1v\u00e1te zahr\u00e1dku na spole\u010dn\u00e9 chat\u011b, pak op\u00e9k\u00e1te maso na grilu. Kolem b\u011bhaj\u00ed spole\u010dn\u00e9 d\u011bti a dom\u00e1c\u00ed mazl\u00ed\u010dci.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A p\u0159esn\u00e9 kv\u016fli tomu, lid\u00e9 tak v\u00e1\u0161niv\u011b reaguj\u00ed na sign\u00e1ly minulosti. Nepracuj\u00ed se sv\u00fdmi neuzav\u0159en\u00fdmi p\u0159\u00edb\u011bhy a pak b\u011bhaj\u00ed na zadn\u00edch tlap\u00e1ch k druh\u00e9mu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jestli se budeme bavit o neuzav\u0159en\u00e9m p\u0159\u00edb\u011bhu u t\u011bch kdo ode\u0161el<\/a> \u2013 velmi z\u0159\u00eddka to tak b\u00fdv\u00e1 a existuje. Prvn\u00ed \u017e\u00e1dosti za\u010d\u00ednaj\u00ed z \u00fasil\u00ed k tomu, aby se uh\u00e1jil norm\u00e1ln\u00ed vztah s \u010dlov\u011bkem, kter\u00fd byl kdysi bl\u00edzk\u00fdm. To je absolutn\u011b norm\u00e1ln\u00ed chov\u00e1n\u00ed libovoln\u00e9ho \u010dlov\u011bka \u2013 tzn. ned\u011blat si nep\u0159\u00e1tele a nec\u00edtit vinu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Na distanci<\/a> (jestli\u017ee se ti nakonec poda\u0159ilo nechat \u010dlov\u011bka b\u00fdt) pak za\u010dne c\u00edtit vinu. A pocit viny se neobjevuje jen tak, proto\u017ee ten kdo odch\u00e1z\u00ed c\u00edt\u00ed, \u017ee m\u011bl n\u011bco ud\u011blat, ale neud\u011blal. A to b\u00fdv\u00e1 ve vztahu kde jsi se hodn\u011b poni\u017eoval.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tato etapa je absolutn\u011b nevhodn\u00e1 k obnoven\u00ed vztahu<\/a>, proto\u017ee s\u00e1m pocit viny nepodporuje p\u0159ita\u017elivost druh\u00e9ho \u010dlov\u011bka a jen ho nut\u00ed prost\u011b jak hra\u010dku jo-jo sk\u00e1kat sem a tam, n\u011bco navrhovat a pak br\u00e1t slova zp\u011bt\u2026 No snad jsi to pochopil.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jestli\u017ee jsi byl schopen zachr\u00e1nit si tv\u00e1\u0159 \u2013 pak pocit viny nebude druh\u00e9ho pron\u00e1sledovat, a proto on se k tob\u011b nebude p\u0159ibli\u017eovat kv\u016fli tomu, aby ti vr\u00e1til jak\u00fdsi neexistuj\u00edc\u00ed dluh a bude t\u011b kontaktovat jen ve chv\u00edli, kdy mu bude skute\u010dn\u011b smutno po tob\u011b.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A to u\u017e je druhou etapou i v p\u0159\u00edpadech, kde jsi si velmi poni\u017eoval (jestli\u017ee jsi norm\u00e1ln\u011b pro\u0161el etapu skok\u016f sem a tam a pokusy \u201ed\u00e1t n\u011bco, co ani nev\u00edm co\u201c)).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0159esn\u011b v t\u011bch vztaz\u00edch, kde jsi neust\u00e1le b\u011bhal za \u010dlov\u011bkem, ani\u017e bys povolil sev\u0159en\u00ed i na vte\u0159inu a ten se pokou\u0161el vyl\u00e9zt z toho bahna \u2013 v\u0161echno za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 s etapy neoddan\u00e9ho dluhu. Ten kdo opou\u0161t\u00ed to mu\u017ee interpretovat jako sv\u00e9 city, a proto nez\u0159\u00eddka souhlas\u00ed s nov\u00fdm vztahem a rychle z n\u011bj odch\u00e1z\u00ed<\/a>. Reagovat na tuto etapu nelze a ani nem\u00e1 smysl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Je velmi d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9 pochopit podstatu \u2013 vr\u00e1tit dluh chce, vinu na sebe vz\u00edt chce, ale vztah nechce. Jestli\u017ee p\u0159ijme\u0161 tento postul\u00e1t \u2013 pak pochop\u00ed\u0161, \u017ee toto jsi zcela ur\u010dit\u011b necht\u011bl. Nemysli si, \u017ee druh\u00fd \u010dlov\u011bk \u00fapln\u011b mistrovsky interpretuje sv\u00e9 emoce. V 90 procentech p\u0159\u00edpad\u016f \u010dlov\u011bk neum\u00ed sv\u00e9 emoce interpretovat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vztah\u016f, kde si opu\u0161t\u011bn\u00fd um\u00ed zachr\u00e1nit tv\u00e1\u0159 nen\u00ed mnoho \u2013 10 procent. Ne v\u00edce.  A p\u0159esn\u011b kv\u016fli tomu v\u011bt\u0161inou v\u0161e za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 z prvn\u00ed etapy. A to znamen\u00e1 vina a pocit dluhu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jsou konzultanti, kte\u0159\u00ed navrhuj\u00ed jin\u00fd sch\u00e9mat: tzv. \u201emaxim\u00e1ln\u011b b\u00fdt bl\u00edzko\u201c. Je to o tom, \u017ee p\u0159ed rozchodem je t\u0159eba maximum pon\u00ed\u017een\u00ed, sna\u017eit se maxim\u00e1ln\u011b nenechat \u010dlov\u011bka odej\u00edt, prosit,  umlouvat, plakat, ps\u00e1t ver\u0161e a pak zmizet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Podle t\u00e9to teorie tento postup urychluje proces obnovy vztahu a ve skute\u010dnosti \u2013 p\u0159ed rozchodem zvy\u0161uje vinu druh\u00e9ho a jako n\u00e1sledek \u2013 pocit dluhu vyzve pokusy k tomu, aby ho \u010dlov\u011bk vr\u00e1til velmi brzy<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Zkus to pochopit \u2013 ne vzr\u016fst\u00e1 p\u0159ita\u017elivost kv\u016fli distanci, ale kv\u016fli tomu, \u017ee se st\u00e1v\u00e1\u0161 \u017ealostn\u00fdm. Ten kdo ode\u0161el vid\u00ed ve sv\u00fdch no\u010dn\u00edch m\u016fr\u00e1ch tv\u00e9 slzy a chce ti usnadnit tvoj\u00ed roli, ale nechce se vr\u00e1tit do vztahu. A proto za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 ps\u00e1t tak rychle \u2013 \u010dlov\u011bku se skute\u010dn\u011b zd\u00e1, \u017ee tv\u00e9 ml\u010den\u00ed, to je n\u011bco neoby\u010dejn\u00e9ho (t\u0159eba um\u00edr\u00e1\u0161 a je ti t\u0159eba pomoc). No snad to ka\u017ed\u00fd spr\u00e1vn\u011b pochopil.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jestli\u017ee nebude\u0161 reagovat na prvn\u00ed etapu, pak za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 druh\u00e1. Jestli\u017ee jsi se neponi\u017eoval a mohl jsi norm\u00e1ln\u011b nechat druh\u00e9ho ze vztahu odej\u00edt \u2013 pak hned v\u0161e za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 z druh\u00e9 f\u00e1ze. A to znamen\u00e1 norm\u00e1ln\u00ed nostalgie a p\u0159ehodnocen\u00ed vztahu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A zde i \u010dlov\u011bk, kter\u00fd ode\u0161el i spadne do \u201enezakon\u010den\u00e9ho p\u0159\u00edb\u011bhu\u201c. A pro\u010d? Proto\u017ee on se st\u00e1v\u00e1 opu\u0161t\u011bn\u00fdm. A op\u011bt \u2013 ve v\u011bt\u0161in\u011b p\u0159\u00edpad\u016f je to chamtivost. V norm\u00e1ln\u00edch p\u0159\u00edpadech je to je\u0161t\u011b nostalgie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Zde je mo\u017en\u00e9 vid\u011bt nakolik je samo formov\u00e1n\u00ed neukon\u010denosti podobn\u00e9. Nakolik jsou podobn\u00e9 motivy. Opu\u0161t\u011bn\u00fd se chce z po\u010d\u00e1tku norm\u00e1ln\u011b rozej\u00edt a pak se za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 zaj\u00edmat a navrhuje kamar\u00e1dstv\u00ed<\/a>. Ze za\u010d\u00e1tku je iniciativn\u00ed a pak ch\u00e1pe, \u017ee dal velmi mnoho v s\u00e1zku a jen tak to nem\u016f\u017ee zanechat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Opu\u0161t\u011bn\u00fd \u010dlov\u011bk ze za\u010d\u00e1tku formuje obr\u00e1zek a pak d\u011bl\u00e1 kroky (p\u0159i\u010dem\u017e nevid\u00ed souvislost) a pak za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 ch\u00e1pat kolik toho dos\u00e1hl a prost\u011b nem\u016f\u017ee odm\u00edtnout s\u00e1m pl\u00e1n. Tvoje chamtivost \u2013 to je tvoje ne\u0159est a chamtivost druh\u00e9ho ti bude pom\u00e1hat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jestli se ti zd\u00e1, \u017ee chamtivost druh\u00e9ho ti p\u0159ek\u00e1\u017e\u00ed \u2013 pak se za\u010dni d\u00edvat na chamtivost druh\u00e9ho \u010dlov\u011bka a pak se ti otev\u0159e ohromn\u00e1 hami\u017en\u00e1 past. A to bude\u0161 moci uvid\u011bt v zrcadle.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Neuzav\u0159en\u00fd p\u0159\u00edb\u011bh. P\u0159\u00ed\u010dina kv\u016fli kter\u00e9 se b\u00fdval\u00ed v\u017edy vrac\u00ed. Je to tak ve skute\u010dnosti? Velmi \u010dasto je mo\u017en\u00e9 usly\u0161et n\u00e1zor, \u017ee \u010dlov\u011bk, kter\u00fd odch\u00e1z\u00ed ze vztahu m\u00e1 \u201eneuzav\u0159en\u00fd p\u0159\u00edb\u011bh\u201c a proto se bude pokou\u0161et vr\u00e1tit se do vztahu po n\u011bjak\u00e9m \u010dase. Pro rozbor t\u00e9to situace za\u010dn\u011bme z toho, co se skute\u010dn\u011b d\u011bje po rozchodu \u2013 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2668,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"zakra_page_container_layout":"customizer","zakra_page_sidebar_layout":"customizer","zakra_remove_content_margin":false,"zakra_sidebar":"customizer","zakra_transparent_header":"customizer","zakra_logo":0,"zakra_main_header_style":"default","zakra_menu_item_color":"","zakra_menu_item_hover_color":"","zakra_menu_item_active_color":"","zakra_menu_active_style":"","zakra_page_header":true,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2667","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-skutecne-pribehy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vztahy.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2667","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vztahy.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vztahy.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vztahy.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vztahy.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2667"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/vztahy.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2667\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4148,"href":"https:\/\/vztahy.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2667\/revisions\/4148"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vztahy.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2668"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vztahy.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2667"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vztahy.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2667"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vztahy.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2667"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}